The primary ordeal

Everyone in the house is sick at the moment, except for me and the cats. What is it about cats that seems to let them mosey along through life without succumbing to the general unhealthiness of humans? Of course, when you look this up on Google, you find that the difference is whether the disease is contagious (from one to another in the same species), or zoonotic (from one species to another). And if you look farther, you can get fairly worried, not about the lifespan of the cat so much as that of yourself, from just the latin names of the things they can give you: Leptospirosis, Echinococcosis, Ebola fever...

The problem with most things that don't go down well with human beings is that of being "too soon old, too late smart". Things that we should discover early enough to do something about end up killing us. The newly discovered adenovirus 14 seems to offer a case in point.

It's generally true, too, that it's not the big things, like the nuclear bomb, that are going to kill us. There's too much at stake for any country to start a nuclear war. Back in 1945, that wouldn't have been true, but with the sophistication of weaponry today, the deterrent effects are pretty obvious given the "assurance of mutual destruction" that nuclear weaponry guarantees. Self-interest is keeping us from launching the war to end all humanity, at least so far.

But it's the small stuff, and anyone who tells you "don't sweat the small stuff" is a maxim-izing meathead. Viruses and bacteria and decomposition have always waged war for supremacy on this earth, and the viruses are getting smarter while we...

A study I heard about today on NPR says that Americans average two hours of TV a day and only 7 minutes of reading. What a difference. TV, generally speaking, stimulates somnolence and passive acceptance, while reading triggers thought and imagination and creativity.

So dumbing down is not a myth. It's as real as global warming. And, should the trend continue, and by the law of inertia it seems likely to continue, the next generation will be stupider than we are, and so on down the line. At some point the viruses and bacteria will be well positioned to take over and become the dominant species. Just as they were in the primordial soup. Welcome back, Rotter.

Do bears sleep in the woods?

Did you ever wonder where bears go in the winter? I think I found the place. The Thrift Shop.

Every time J and I visit the local thrift stores, whether they are Thrift Shops or Salvation Army stores or Goodwill outlets, we inevitably see evidence that bears hibernate in these stores by choice.

First, they put a tag on their toes, with a number on it. This number apparently is a warning to whoever interrupts their sleep that there will be some small price to pay for this action.

Then, they find themselves a place to hang out, which may sometimes be a hook or a shelf, or a table or even an old couch or rocking chair. I have seen a number of them holed up in a big hammock made of netting. As soon as things settle down, they apparently go to sleep. I always think that the ones that hang upside down are somewhat batty.

In the light of global warming, this strange habit of bears may be a good thing. Even in cold, remote Russia, there are bears that are going without hibernating. It is important, I think, that some bears, not just sun-bears, preserve this longstanding tradition of hibernation.

When you approach a tagged bear and turn over its toe tag to see what its number is, it inevitably wakes up and leaps into your arms. It seems heartless to put the animal back after that. And so a bear or two will generally find itself snuggling into your bed or a bookshelf or a mantel, settling back into a far more comfortable state of hibernation.

The latest one is Ferguson.

To sleep, perchance to dream

Every fall in Alaska the grizzlies gather along the McNeil River to participate in a banquet that they probably call "The Fillet Fest". We've all seen it on TV. Big brown bears, gorging on salmon until they can't hold any more. Soon, they go to sleep for the winter, except for the ones that can't sleep because it's too warm.

I guess I'm like that. When I go to sleep, it's usually after I've had my fill of fruits and vegetables and nuts and berries. And then I'll hibernate from about 11:30 p.m. until about 3:30 a.m. when I awake because the electric blanket is too warm. It was too cold when I started.

I think what I'm gonna try is one of those timers that lets you set multiple hours for on and off. In other words, crank the thing on at 11:00, and off at midnight. Then on at 1:00 and off at 2:00. Maybe that intermittence would cure or at least confuse whatever is in my body thermostat that makes me fluctuate into wakefulness.

Maybe if I dreamed I was a bear, watching for salmon and scooping them out and chowing down on them until I could hold no more, I'd sleep through the night, just like they sleep through the winter. But I've never been able to program my dreams. Some people can do this, and others remember (and many recount) every detail. I can't. Besides, I don't like sushi.

I think the dreams that matter are the ones you have when you are awake. They're the ones about which you can consciously say, "I have a dream..." rather than "I dreamed..."