I dunno, maybe I'm all wet...

Every morning I take a shower. Not just because I want to be nice to be near, but even more because if I don't, my hair (what there is left) stands out in all directions and flatly refuses to lie flat. This gives me the "gray hedgehog" appearance that reminds me of Dagwood, or even worse, of a porcupine in full fright.

Every morning, I find myself singing little snippets of whatever I can remember of songs from various artists. I have read that the reason we sing in the shower is that as the water droplets are forced through the shower head, they create negative ions much in the way that waves crashing upon a beach result in a freshness that you can feel in the air. You can't help yourself. You feel like singing!

Of course, another reason may be the acoustics. The shower produces white noise, which muffles the whiny overtones in my morning voice, and convinces me that I could have had a career in the music industry if only I could have vanquished the stage fright.

Last week, it was Stompin' Tom Connors. More particularly, it was the lines:
"Tonight I'm due to bushwhack Sue
And take her to the Gumboot Cloggeroo
And do a little gumboot cloggin' (repeat 3)"

This week, Joni Mitchell :
"Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got till it's gone?
You pave paradise, put up a parking lot."

You might think it would more thematically appropriate to sing something like "Singin' in the Rain" or "Gonna wash that man right outta my hair". But you'd be wrong. Why? Because I don't decide consciously what to sing. It just happens, the way dreams happen.

I don't choose what I sing with this in mind. Like dreams, the mental pictures come to me, and I respond to them, not even knowing why I sing what I sing, or even why I sing.

It would be interesting to hear the songs that emanate from other people's shower stalls, if this theory has any substance to it, and then compare their selections with how they coped with their day.

I think the Stompin' Tom song may have been calibrating some purpose or goal that I wanted to accomplish that day, but since I don't remember which day it was, my theory remains unproven.

The Joni Mitchell is different. I had seen her on YouTube a couple of days back, and the lines I quoted above were apparently the ones that stuck with me.

Perhaps it was a reflection that as an Old Guy My Age, I'm not maybe quite as appreciative of people as you might think I should be for an Old Guy My Age. That thought percolated for a couple of days until it suddenly popped out on the Morning Shower Mantra Show.

So if there's anything to it, I plan to listen to my musical selections with a little more intention. Who knows? Someday I might be vocalizing a refrain from the Moody Blues , like:

"I've decided to do what I can and to find the kind of man I really am."

And then maybe that very same day, I'll find me!

Footnote: Do dreams have a purpose?

This idea's a sleeper!

FINALLY! They’re recommending that you take a nap at work. Man! I’ve been saying this for ages, ever since I turned 40. In fact, some days I’ve been able to put it into practice.

I’ve considered dotting my closed eyelids with a big marking pen so I’d look more awake at meetings, but everyone knows I have eyes of different colors, so that would never work.

Of course, what they want is greater productivity. Well, maybe. But I’d settle for the memory benefits. Like being able to remember what it was I was going to do before I went to sleep.

People who work with computers have an obvious advantage over those who work in public service at a library information desk. And it’s unfair. If you’re a computer programmer, you can sit in front of a monitor for hours at a time without moving anything more significant than your index finger. It was programmers who invented the BOSS key, which is a shortcut that flips up a spreadsheet or something that looks like you're really busy as the boss goes by.

But that doesn’t do you much good if you’re in REM. So they came up with the timed boss key that allows you to set a timer so that your computer is browsing even though you are snoozing.

None of this subtle subterfuge would be necessary if employers were to read the news article above before it disappears (although Google or the Internet Archive will likely keep it around).

And for my colleagues on the Information Desk: Brace yourselves! Try these ! That way you won’t fall backwards when you doze off.

Architectural conservancy

The house of the future will not need a kitchen
Since kitchens are places where people make meals,
And life is so fast now that people are switching
To restaurants, fast food and two-for-one deals.

Gone are the vignettes of Mom at the sink,
Scraping the carrots and slicing the beets
For now all you need is an internet link
And you get to go out for those homestyle cooked treats.

Follow those links to find special cuisine
Or take-outs that take merely minutes to serve
Or new, unknown bistros where no one has been
So you can be first, and ahead of the curve.

The fridge is unneeded except for your beer.
Your stove? Toss it out! It’s irrelevant now,
But you might need the microwave if you are here
To heat up your leftover restaurant chow.

Friends coming over? There’s a deli nearby.
You’ll have nothing to wash when the party is done.
Up early? Give donuts and coffee a try:
If the waistline’s an issue, remember… just one!

You’ll be doing a favor for those who depend
On consumers at drive-ins who eat in their cars
By closing your kitchen and taking your friend
To sample the goodies at diners and bars.

“Where’s for dinner,” must now be your rallying cry
As you scour the web for the less well-known venue,
And ferret out places and dishes to try
To understand every french phrase on the menu.

“Kitchen’s closed!” is the sign of a new generation.
For kitchens date back to when choices were few;
When a drought meant a time of severe deprivation,
When the veggies were local and farmers were too.